Need mommy advice....

[Amanda]

OK, my middle son (5) is a bed wetter. Almost every night he wets his bed and I think I'm going to explode! I never yell or even take issue with it (other than in my own mind) but, I am not convinced that it is a biological problem. I think he's just not even trying. My DH was a bed wetter, so he is VERY understanding and reasonable about it....even though *I'm* the one that does the laundry.
Anyway, he continually waits until the VERY last minute to go. All the time. Every single day I either fight with him to go potty before we go pick up #1 from school, or I say nothing and he's dancing around the van once we get there and I have to pray that he can hold it until we get home. I sent them to bed early tonight (#1 & 2 share a room) because DH is playing a gig, and I needed a break. I let them play together for an hour, and then just went up there at 7:45 to give hugs and kisses and tell them lights out. #2 asked if I could wash his pajama pants and underwear. The ones he just put on an hour ago. He's still awake, and WET HIMSELF ON PURPOSE!!!!!!!!!! I can't even begin to explain how !@#$ frustrated I am at this!!
Help!!! Please, if you've survived this stage, please help!!! I need advice.
Thanks!!

[elizw]

have you checked with your pediatrician? my son was incredibly easy. however, my daughter is a different story. she is 8 years old and wets the bed. she'll go 2 or 3 weeks keeping her bed dry and then wet the bed for a few nights. right now we are on night 5. the pediatrician recommended a monitor for her to wear. i think we are going to have to go that route. during the day she is fine.

it is more frustrating for you since it is a day and night thing. it involves extra laundry and cleaning sheets constantly. i would make an appt. with your doctor. in the meantime, google and see what you come up with. hang in there!

Pediatrics: potty training a five-year old boy

Berkeley Parents Network: Potty Training 4 & 5 Year Olds

[mssweetie24]

I know what you are going through my son had this same problem wit wetting on himself and it gets frustrating.
You might want to have him check to be on the safe side to make sure it is not a health issue.That way you can rule that out if possible.
His bladder could be smaller then it should be and it is not allowing him to hold it for very long periods of time. My son was born with his bladder being small I had found out and he had to be put on meds that help with him to hold it for longer periods of time to help stretch his bladder to the size it was suppose to be.
My nephew had this same problem as well, my sister had to take my nephew to be checked because he was having trouble with bed wetting and it was shown that his bladder was small and had to take meds for a short period of time to help with the bed wetting .He took the meds long enough to help with holding his urine for longer periods of time then what he was able to before to be able to stretch the bladder.
Just talk with his doctor and see what the doctor thinks and just as elizw said hang in there. I will be praying for you.

[k_anncookies]

My 3 1/2 year old has been wetting the bed at night occasionally after going several months without any problems. First there is always the obvious things to watch and monitor:
No fluids after supper.
Have him go on a schedule as best as you can.

I took my son in to get some answers, at one point, he was having accidents during the day and going nearly every 30 minutes. my first thought was Urinary Tract Infection?

No UTI, but the doctor was concerned that his urine was very dilute (watered down) and told me he was drinking too much water. The thing was, he hardly drank any water at all. he was a milk and OJ kind of boy no matter how hard i pushed the water. I had to resort to Crystal light powder drink to get him to get water.....boy did i get lectured on that one.

The doctor told me that the artificial sugar in the crystal light as well as other drinks, can sometimes irritate the bladder, causing him to go frequently....so i cut out the crystal light, and low and behold, no more frequency. So that's something to maybe think about, if your son drinks any of that.

The other thing he mentioned was Diabetes Insipidus (you can find ample information about that online, i won't go into it on here)

My sister also was a night bed wetter til she was in middle school...after all kinds of trial and error, the thing that 'cured' her was the chiropractor! Crazy, i know, i don't remember the logic behind that, but i know you can find more online about it.

I hope you find some answers, it never hurts to go get it checked out if nothing else works! Keep up posted! HAng in there!

[Sonia]

I have a 6 year old and an 8 year old who both wet their beds. This is what I've been told - you need to stretch the bladder so it gets used to holding the extra volume overnight. To do that, make your child drink a certain amount at each meal, and morning/afternoon break. My sister-in-law used to send her kids to school with lines drawn on their drink bottle to show them how much they had to drink each break time. Then at dinner time, just give them half that amount. I've been too busy to actually see this through consistently.

Both these sons were recently diagnosed with dyslexia, and guess what I found out when I did some research???? Bed-wetting is a symptom! My 6yo has severe dyslexia and wets most nights, and my 8 year old has mild dyslexia and wets occasionally. My 5 year old who doesn't have dyslexia is always dry.....coincidence?? I'm not sure!

[Amanda]

Wow! Thanks for all the advice. We are taking him to the Dr next week for his kindergarten checkup, I'll ask about this while we're there. I'm probably missing something.
What about the refusing to go until the last minute? Does anyone have any advice for me? This is a fairly recent development. Maybe the last 6 months...? He REALLY fights having to go, and if you ask him if he has to go he'll tell you no, get angry at you, and then wait even longer! I'm thinking about putting him on a schedule, but I don't want to shame him, but maybe I just shouldn't care about that anymore. Not to sound harsh, but if he can't figure it out at 5 1/2...UGHHH!!!! I don't know....
Just this morning we were having a little argument about whether to take a shower or a bath. He hates showers, but we had to get ready fast because they have karate class. (and, incidentally, he smells like pee because he wet his bed last night after peeing all over himself for no reason before bed). So he's screaming and crying that he doesn't want a shower, and we're trying to calmly explain to him that we don't have time for anything else and he can't go to karate smelling like pee. So finally we can play this game no longer and DH puts him in the shower. He get so mad that he.....PEES!!!!!!
He used to do this when he was first PT, he'd get in trouble or have a temper tantrum and loose control and pee everywhere. But we haven't seen it happen in over a year. He's not our first, we've done this before, and successfully I might add! We didn't push him into PT, we gave him stickers and M&Ms when he went, made sure it was a positive experience for him.
I would just like to know...WTF did we do wrong?
Any advice?

[Sonia]

He may just be afraid to go on his own. My 8 year old has recently become scared to go to the other end of the house alone. He asks one of his brothers to go with him. I find they all leave going to the toilet till the last minute, too. Sometimes I think it's because they're scared, sometimes because they're too busy playing.

[bupbup74]

I can so sympathize with your situation. My 8 year old still wets the bed, and waits until the absolute last minute to go to the bathroom at times. He's had accidents at school and even birthday parties before. His teacher at school mentioned to me that he goes to the bathroom alot during class, but sometimes she can see him dancing in his seat, and has to tell him to go.

My father was a bed wetter as a child, and so was I, until I was in the 5th grade! My dad had an operation on his bladder (not exactly sure what they did), and it stopped his problem. For me, I remember being put on medication, and when that didn't work, I also had an operation - which didn't work. My parents tried to humiliate me out of the problem by making me wear diapers to bed - it didn't work! Honestly, the reason I wet the bed, is because I was terrifed to get out of my bed at night. I was positive that there were a million spiders under my bed that would crawl up my legs if I got down. NOTHING, I went through could cure that problem - especially, since I never told anyone that is what the problem was. At school, I wet my pants because I was too embarrassed to ask the teacher in front of the rest of the class. What finally worked for me, was I would pray every night before I went to bed. I know that may sound silly to a non believer, but for me that is what worked.

As for my son, I haven't taken him to the doctor yet, because he is terrified that he's going to have to have an operation, and starts crying the moment I mention going. I try to have very calm talks with him, and not embarrass him in any way. I always put down a pad on his sheets, so that if he does have an accident, it doesn't go all the way to the sheets. I also try to remind him that he needs to go at every recess/lunch/break at school, and I pray with him. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

He tells me that at night, he just doesn't wake up, because he is so sound asleep. I completely believe this, because he is one of those kids that once he's out - he's out!!! I've been thinking about getting him a monitor for at night. Just haven't done it yet.

A friend mentioned to me that maybe he had a problem with the signal he gets telling him when he has to go. That maybe he doesn't get the signal until it's emergency time. This makes sense to me, but like I said, I haven't talked to his doctor about it yet. I figure the next time I have to take him to the doctor for something, I will just mention it once we are already there. that way, my son wont have the chance to panic.

Anyway, sorry for being so long winded, and that I don't have any real advice for you. I would just talk to your son privately, and see if you can find out exactly what his problems might be - like being scared, being angry, etc. If all else fails, take him to the doctor.

Good Luck!!

[Amanda]

Thanks for the support, Bupbup. That helps alot. It was nice to hear your story, and there was plenty of advice in there!
On the outside I have been SOOOOOO patient and supportive and calm, but I'm just so fed up, ya know? I'm really at my wits end with this. And I won't even mention the amount of laundry.....
I think I'm so frustrated I can't see the forest for the trees.

[elizw]

our pediatrician recommends an alarm that the child wears at night. as soon as their undies are wet, the alarm sounds off and wakes them up. shortly, they are trained to wake up as soon as they feel the "urge". here is a website:

Bedwetting Alarms for Enuresis - BedwettingStore.com